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So, wedding cake decisions for a baking fan like me are not taken lightly. D-man of course immediately vouched for chocolate mud. Not at all surprising, and so zzzzzz. I’ve never gone crazy over chocolate cake.

So, even though I know the feasibility of making my own wedding cake is extremely low and a high risk venture into crazy town on the crucial lead up days to the wedding, I can’t stomach the idea of paying someone $400-800 for a cake I can do myself. The design (not being discussed here, a lady must have some secrets) is quite simple, so if I’m not paying for amazing tasting cake I ain’t paying.

So, after much deliberation, “my” layer of the cake will be a coconut raspberry cake. It needs to have:

  • a dense, moist crumb
  • nice coconutty texture, that doesn’t stick in your teeth
  • to improve with maturation- if I’m making it myself I can’t do it on the day
  • and it needs to be UTTERLY DELICIOUS!

So, I started with this recipe for ‘Southern Style’ Coconut Cake

Adaptions: I halved the ingredients, seeing as I don’t need a full cake for these tasters. I added some coconut essence and a cup of frozen raspberries tossed in flour stirred through last thing before being placed in the pan.

Verdict: Meh.

It was an ok cake, a bit bland with not much texture or coconut flavour. The coconut milk I think weighed it down, and absorbed the sweetness of the sugar and the zing of the raspberries.

On the up side, tossing the squishy defrosted raspberries in flour worked well in containing juice bleed in the mix. And this was the first time I’d used my Wiltshire adjustable cake ring and it worked a treat. With this little gem you can make a deep cake from 16cm to 28cm diameter. I need never buy another round cake tin again.

Next step: Next recipe I will add some lime zest and/or juice to spark the flavours, I’ll use shredded coconut instead of dessicated for more texture. I’ve come across some recipes using almond meal, which is an intriguing combination that will have to be tried.

It now appears to be the new trend for people to take the elements that are big with weddings these days and have them in overblown birthday/other parties, which really gets my goat. Once upon a time most parties were just parties that had the usual elements: chips and dips, booze, home made or cheesecake shop cake, maybe a theme and if it was a really good/big one, a dj.

And OK, so your wedding’s supposed to be IT, the biggest party you will ever throw, and there are lots of things that are discussed/advertised  in mostly terrifying and occasionally interesting blogs etc, to help you create a party that is distinctive, unusual, etc etc. Bigger and better than a normal party. Hey, everyone has birthdays all the time, but most of us don’t get married all the time (unless you’re Seal and Heidi Klum)

BUT

It’s pretty obvious that a lot of chicks who are well past that stage of their life are reading wedding blogs a lot which really creeps me out. The wedding industry in general was an unknown phenomenon until I got engaged, and the sheer size of it is terrifying. There are zillions of blogs and websites out there, often telling everyone to do pretty much the same stuff, most of it unneccessary and ridiculously expensive. And now I see all the stuff that’s being flogged as wedding party phenomena turning up at  other parties.
While a wedding is allowed to be quite formal and have a structured/designed approach to activities and decor (being the biggest party you can have in lower/middle class society. I like to think the upper class get to attend the occasional coronation), the same level of detail is being reproduced for smaller gatherings.  I guess somebody’s feeling the gap in their lives that only a wedding style party can fill. 

Recent trends that must confuse the hell out of people who thought they were going to a normal party:

  • Dessert/lolly bars. In the olden days we called it the cake table, but now you get a range of bits with pretty labels and designed displays. Makes it special-er see, and you can be charged more.
  • Photobooths. This is kind of cool, having props etc to take funny photos. Originally set up as a more interesting alternative to the boring group and table shots at weddings. Now available at lots of other parties. This bugs me as I was thinking about something similar, and I don’t think I can go there any more. “Didn’t they have this at Irene’s 43rd birthday party?” “Why yes Beryl, they did. I had a moustache on a stick. Better not do that again as I won’t remember which party the photo’s from in a couple of years, pass me the feather boa”
  • Bunting, pompoms and lanterns. I kind I like all these things, but getting done. to . death.
  • Drink stations. Really, is this necessary for less than 100 people?
  • Professionally decorated and layered cakes. These things can cost up to $500 people. At least lots of dimwits think they’re supposed to spend that much on wedding cakes because it’s just once.
  • Bonbonniere. 2 places they’re appropriate: kid’s parties as the lolly bag, or weddings. Don’t muddy the waters with special treats for guests in hand painted bags because you turned 43. Let’s be honest, no one cares when you turn that age, and chances are you’re lying about it anyway and pretending you’re still 41

I guess my big problem here is that people are copying wedding styling into their more mundane events, which raises the bar for special events and makes me think Crap, how far will I have to go to make my wedding special and wedding like??
And the wedding industry is already so insidious and heinously manipulative, making its living sucking vampirically on the dreams and aspirations of kids in love. It scares me that the same industry is starting to make inroads into other events, banking on the impressions it made into the soft minds of young women who got married, and now cashing in on them in middle age too.
Sweetie, if you still reminisce on your wedding day all the time, and miss the attention and the paraphernalia, go and renew your vows and have another party, and leave the wedding crap for wedding days. There’s enough of it already to wade through.

End Rant.

So, I have been somewhat preoccupied since getting engaged, and the blogging shrivelled up. Whoops

But the wedding/ being engaged process is a rather bizarre one, and so I’ll track activities and events here. For example, today I:

  • ordered my custom handspun and dyed 1 ply silk yarn
  • contacted a baker about the cake
  • applied for 4 weeks Long Service Leave (real adult innit?? as my cousin put it)
  • checked out a photographer that might do
  • sent the first person the link to the wedding website
  • tonight we will be writing thank you cards from the engagement party and slicing up the save the date cards with our big new guillotine

and how much work did I get done? Not as much as if I were a normal person who was either single, in a relationship or married.
Being engaged is a transitory state, nothing is settled and nothing is quite normal. Everything is focussed on the future, and everyone is allowed to have an opinion on how you get there. I presume pregnancy is a similar sensation, but your body’s in for the ride too.